Enough Said! Give up Your ABC Gum...


Have you ever had one of those days when someone just can't stop themselves from rehashing negative stuff blah blah blah?


 I ran into a friend at a meeting that I have known for a couple of years. He's always seemed pretty cool, calm and collected at other meetings -  but whoa - talk about MR. Negative to a capital N today. I observed the scene for a bit and wondered what was going on with this guy as it seemed out of place. I let it go because I don't know him all that well on a personal level and maybe he's just having one of those days? Not so fast...


He caught me on the way out of the place and asked if I had a few minutes to talk with him.  Well, Ok I said let's go outside (honestly I wasn't too sure I wanted to get caught up in his story).


We sat on the steps and I gave him a long look - and said - so what's up with you today?  Holy smokes he went on and on about some client that screwed 'him' over last month and he was expecting to see that client at the meeting but he didn't show up - blah blah blah.  Hmmm?  So let me get this straight, you are still mad that a business deal went south a month ago? Yes damn mad he said. Well what do you want to do about it?  NOTHING he says! Ok....well I guess that's that then. He didn't like that answer much by the look on his face.


I asked him another question. So who is this affecting you or the other guy as you seem to be carrying around a load of negative BS? And I'm betting it's held you back from attracting other clients, or maybe it hasn't?  So then he says to me - CRAP why do you always have to be so damn annoying. And then he started laughing.  I just smiled at him and said.....well sorry about that but you asked me for my 2 cents and you know I deliver when asked.


I told him about a mentor of mine that taught me years ago to stop chewing ABC gum over and over and over. Who does that hurt? Nobody except you!


He liked that analogy and said,  well your mentor was right. I screwed myself over and over and just kept chewing the damn gum.  I'm done with that!



Enough Said! Give up Your ABC Gum...




Phoenix Property Shoppe



Anna "Banana" Kruchten
Designated Broker & Owner

Phoenix Homes For Sale


Connect with me also on these sites!


    Anna Banana Kruchten Google+Anna Kruchten LinkedinAnna Banana Kruchten on GoogleAnna Banana Kruchten of Active Rain




                   Your Referrals & Testimonials Are Greatly Appreciated!


Anna sometimes all some one needs a a kick in the donkey, and you provided it.

Posted by George Souto, Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert (George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages) over 1 year ago

I tend to answer these people about how wonderful the day has been and especially a buyer and usually makes them look at their watch and say, gotta go. Accentuate the positive.

Posted by Joe Pryor, REALTOR® - Oklahoma Investment Properties (The Virtual Real Estate Team) over 1 year ago

I think he knew deep down you weren't going to buy into his B.S. and bring him around.  Good job, Anna Banana! 

Posted by Carol Williams, Retired Agent / Broker / Property Manager (Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals.) over 1 year ago

GOOD Post with a Great message! When business is hard, it is easy to spew negativity (or chew your ABC gum). What is important to do though is move on and learn from it! Your co-worker is lucky you were there to spell that out for him.

Posted by Michelle Carr Crowe,Altas Just Call...408-252-8900!, Family Helping Families Buy & Sell Homes 40+ Years (Get Results Team...Just Call (408) 252-8900! . DRE #00901962 . Licensed to Sell since 1985 . Altas Realty) over 1 year ago

Anna, glad you made him laugh!  :) Sounds like he knew you would provide sound advice. 

Posted by Sonja Patterson, Texas Monthly 5-Star Realtor Recipient for the Hou (Keller Williams - BV) over 1 year ago

Sometimes I do have to get "damn mad" about something, but after I get it out I can let it go.

Posted by Tammy Lankford,, Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville (Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668) over 1 year ago

I don’t understand why this even has to be said in any way, shape, or form. This is baffling and totally correct!

Posted by Laura Cerrano, Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher (Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island) over 1 year ago

Tammy Lankford, Don’t worry, get mad! It’s totally you being you and getting it out that will help you in the long run, just so long as you’re not doing harm. :)

Posted by Laura Cerrano, Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher (Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island) over 1 year ago

I'ts usually pointless to try to console someone like that.  My favorite expression I heard at a motiv. rally, the speaker called them  "Battery Drainers".  Their negativity pulls the charge out of those around them!











Posted by Bill Dean, William Dean - Broker, Salesperson (Haggerty Team St. Louis, Mo.) over 1 year ago

Great job! He knew he was going to get some straight talk from you or he wouldn't have asked you to hear him out. I bet he has an entirely new attitude now!

Posted by Kat Palmiotti, The House Kat (406-270-3667 (MT), 914-419-0270 (NY), Broker in NY with Grand Lux Realty and in MT with (coming soon!)) over 1 year ago

Its unfortunate how many people keep chewing the ABC and can't get past their anager and disappointment.  They don't realize what's on the other side since they never bothered to look

Posted by Sham Reddy CRS, CRS (H E R Realty, Dayton, OH) over 1 year ago

Good morning Anna Banana Kruchten CRS,CRB,

I love what your mentor taught you because its such good advice. I'm sure your friend is glad he talked with you..you gave him a dose of advice he was either going to take to heart or he was going to keep chewing his ABC gum!

Posted by Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR, Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate (Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899) over 1 year ago

Great advice, I think I will use this story in my office for a few agents who have the same gum :O)

Posted by Sharon Kowitz, Cary, NC Relocation Specialist ~ Buying or Selling (CRS-SRES-ABR-GRI-E-Pro-CREN Fonville Morisey Cary, NC) over 1 year ago

It took me a little to learn that, but do not dwell...ever.. Have a good day Anna Banana Kruchten CRS,CRB 

Posted by Scott Godzyk, One of the Manchester NH's area Leading Agents (Godzyk Real Estate Services) over 1 year ago

Good morning Anna. What a great story and wonderful expression. So what did he want of you?

Posted by Sheila Anderson, The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133 (Referral Group Incorporated) over 1 year ago

Anna, such great advice! Negativity breeds negativity. Let it go already! Have an amazing Friday! 

Posted by Carla Freund, Raleigh - Cary Triangle Real Estate 919-602-8489 (Keller Williams Preferred Realty) over 1 year ago

Aren't you a ray of sunshine? I'm reading such a great book right now, and it reminds us that we are all one. Your ability to shed positive and light where there is darkness and negativity is exactly how we continue to raise our vibrations in the face of undesirable people and situations.  You are beautiful, you do great work, and I just love ya. 

Posted by Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD, REALTORS® in Clark County, WA (ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors) over 1 year ago

Anna- great post- sometimes all of us need someone to kick or nudge us to get out of our own way.  You have a gift of spreading positive sunshine where you are. 

Posted by Kathy Streib, Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224 (Room Service Home Staging) over 1 year ago

Very refreshing post about getting stuck in a negative cycle Anna and holding him accountable. You are made of sunshine my Arizona friend!

BTW: I used to put my chewed gum in the the freezer when I was a kid to retain the flavor so it could be chewed again...didn't work either! 

Posted by Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!, So Utah Residential, Referral & Relocation REALTOR (Prado Real Estate South) over 1 year ago

If you can't change it then you may as well let it go. And if you can't let it go then you may as well change it.

Posted by JL Boney, III, Columbia, SC Real Estate (Coldwell Banker) over 1 year ago

I give it straight to people, too, Anna. Especially when they ask but even when they don't, LOL. I have no problem telling other people what they should do. Some of us are just wired that way.

Yesterday an agent told me loves talking to me because I'm always so upbeat and cheery. Hey, the alternative is crap!

Posted by Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Realtor Top 1%, Put 40 years of experience to work for you (RE/MAX Gold) over 1 year ago

Great advice Anna! Get over it and move on.... ABC gum is totally disgusting. Yuk!!

Posted by Richard Bazinet /MBA, CRS, ABR, Phoenix Scottsdale. Sellers, Buyers & Relocations (West USA Realty) over 1 year ago

I'm sorry, maybe I'm the only one who hasn't heard the term "ABC gum".  Would you mind telling me what that stands for?

Posted by Tim Maitski, Truth, Excellence and a Good Deal (Atlanta Communities Real Estate Brokerage) over 1 year ago

Two puzzles need solving. 1. How did that "stuff" get in you to begin with and 2. How do we get it out? Chew on that...

Posted by Richie Alan Naggar, agent & author (people first...then business Ran Right Realty ) over 1 year ago

Recently, I heard a story from a gal I swim laps with.  Her husband has Alzheimers and Dementia.  She is her husband's second wife.  He no longer remembers being married to her, but does remember being married to his ex-wife.  Somehow, he's only remembering the good times with the first wife, and none of the negative that tore them apart.  Now, imagine you are the second wife, continuing to to care for this man.  The good news is the guy has lost some of the negativity about the second wife. . .Although, his current wife isn't getting much reward for that.

Posted by Myrl Jeffcoat, Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent (GreatWest Realty) over 1 year ago

I'll bet he will be thanking you later for being so 'annoying,' Anna! You're so right - this is costing him business AND respect from his peers too. Imgaine what it's doing to him at home! 

Great job - hopefully it had a lasting effect on him!

Happy Friday!

Posted by Debe Maxwell, CRS, Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte Neighborhoods (www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310) over 1 year ago

Anna, yes it was probably costing him business as well as health issues. It's not good to keeping chewing over spilled milk, it really can make a person sick.

Posted by Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®, Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate (Vision Quest Realty) over 1 year ago

Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. It's important to learn the lesson, forgive, and move on. The other person may not even know they did anything wrong!

Posted by Nathan Gesner, Broker / Property Manager (American West Realty and Management) over 1 year ago

Your mentor was wise, and so is Abraham. I bite my tongue a LOT, knowing what I know about law of attraction. Some people aren't going to hear it, so I just shut up and ignore their grousing.

Posted by Marte Cliff, Your real estate writer (Marte Cliff Copywriting) over 1 year ago

Good stuff Anna Banana Kruchten CRS,CRB  I was talking to an agent in another office of ours about this and we smiled and said KARMA  but ABC gum is good  

You are Featured in Bananatude


Posted by Hannah Williams, Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-953-8818 (Re/Max Eastern inc.) over 1 year ago

Hi Anna

I bet, deep down, this guy appreciated your honesty and being straight with him.

ABC gum is a great analogy. There’s a time to spit it out and move on


Posted by Jeff Dowler, CRS, The Southern California Relocation Dude (Solutions Real Estate ) over 1 year ago

Anna, I have never heard the terminology "ABC Gum" never the less I try to stay away from people like that as far as I can:)Endre

Posted by Endre Barath, Jr., Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002 (Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices) over 1 year ago

Anna thats a great analogy. Its stale, harder to chew and has no flavor. Spit it out and make room for "gum" that's fresh and appealing!

Posted by Bill & Cyndi Daves, TeamDAVES - Your REALTORS In the GA/NC Mountains! (Hiawassee, Young Harris, Blairsville, Hayesville, Murphy and Beyond!) over 1 year ago

Awesome advice! Glad he was able to take it and see the light. Anna to the rescue!

Posted by Sharon Tara, New Hampshire Home Stager (Sharon Tara Transformations) over 1 year ago

Dear Anna,

So nice of you to reach out to "grouchy Greg" to change his perspective. All of us occasionally need a reality check. You are a true friend.

Posted by Dörte Engel, ABC - Annapolis, Bowie, Crofton & rest of Maryland (RE/MAX Leading Edge) over 1 year ago

anna, you were the perfect person to cross his path that day.  Sometimes we all need a bit of honesty to get over what's getting into us!  Great post! 

Posted by Jan Green, HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN (Value Added Service, 602-620-2699) over 1 year ago

Indeed! Not getting over things never works. Thanks!

Posted by Paul McFadden, Pest Control, Seattle, WA. (Paratex) over 1 year ago

I watch a golf match occasionally. Almost every golfer makes a really bad shot.

At that point they have a choice to either stew and fume over that shot for the rest of the match and ultimately lose any chance to win, or, they can put that bad shot out of their mind and focus on making the next shot a great one.

I love your story and thanks for sharing.

Posted by John Wiley, Lee County, FL, ECO Broker, GRI, SRES,GREEN,PSA (Right Move Real Estate Group- EXP Realty) over 1 year ago

What a great point. Stop chewing on the negativity. Start breeding positivity and breaking out of old, useless habits. Thank you for sharing!

Posted by Corey Martin, Real Estate and Management Solutions (Martin Presence Group) over 1 year ago

So easy to get caught up in the negative and not move on to the positive!  this is a very good reminder to spit out the ABC and let it go..... NICE!

Posted by Debra Leisek ( Bay Realty,Inc Homer Alaska) over 1 year ago

There is a gift in every adversity. He was fortunate to meet you and receive your wise advice. We are fortunate for the reminder and your story that chewing ABC gum can rotten more than teeth! Thank you Anna Banana Kruchten CRS,CRB 

Posted by Emily Medvec Qualifying Broker, Realtor | Serving Santa Fe & Northern NM (Hello Realty) over 1 year ago

Someone told Liz some years back that when something goes wrong you have two minutes and two seconds to be upset, then you need to get over it and move on.  We're in a business that runs the risk of getting screwed over and I could focus on the 1-2 deals that I got screwed over, or the 20 clients that appreciate the help and helped us feed our private zoo :)

Posted by Liz and Bill Spear, RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton) (RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com) over 1 year ago

I love the ABC gum! There are sensitive folks that can’t let go of things and as one of those people I can tell you it drives me nuts. I love this thought of already been chewed. I also really like what Liz mentioned above about 2 minutes and 2 seconds to be upset and then move on. 

What I have learned is that you may not understand everything, because it may not be any of your business or you may only be privy to a small portion of the big picture. However being able to brush yourself off and keep moving forward is the best you can do all the way around. 

Thanks for the advice!

Brenda Swiger

Posted by Brenda Swigert, CRS, e-PRO, SRES (Keller Williams Seven Hills Realty) over 1 year ago

Sometimes it is best just to get on with life.  Concentrating on the negative things in life has this wonderful tendency to drag us all the way to the bottom.

Posted by John Dotson, The experience to get you to the other side! (Preferred Properties of Highlands, Inc. - Highlands, NC) over 1 year ago

Hi Anna Banana Kruchten CRS,CRB, life is too short and precious to waste time on this kind of stuff. Yes, bad stuff happens, move on.. loved this post! 

Posted by Beth Atalay, Cam Realty of Clermont FL (Cam Realty and Property Management) over 1 year ago

He got it when he began laughing  after you stated...

"why do you always have to be so damn annoying."


Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) over 1 year ago

Not at all what I expected from the title! But Anna, sometimes we just HAVE to vent. My pressure relief valve blew up yesterday and I had to relieve some stress. Thank goodness for chocolate (in the form of martinis).  I had a great dish session with a good friend and at the end of the evening, all the worlds problems went away. :)

Posted by Pat Starnes-Front Gate Realty, 601-991-2900 Office; 601-278-4513 Cell (Front Gate Real Estate) over 1 year ago

Got to let go of the negative and focus on the positive. And do allow that someone may just be having a bad day - but a bad month?  That person needs to do as you say, Anna Banana Kruchten CRS,CRB!

Posted by Lynnea Miller, Premier Real Estate Service in Central Oregon (Bend Premier Real Estate) over 1 year ago

This blog does not allow anonymous comments